I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Text me some of your sweat
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
