Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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