too bad you live with your parents still
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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