i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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