I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
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We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
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