I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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