So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
