how can u be prego again
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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