Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
