At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
