I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
