Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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