How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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