Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
