It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
