i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize