I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
