There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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