Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
