I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
