im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
