It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
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No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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