I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
