the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
