the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
