Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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