so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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