I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
