Jerry, you need to find god
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
