I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
