Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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