i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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