dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
