Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize