if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
