the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The adults are the big ones right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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