i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
