Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
