This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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