chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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