Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
