im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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