Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
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Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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