You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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