Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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