Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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