I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.