wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.