Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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