White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
