I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
