This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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