What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
