No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
that's an acceptable place to lick
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
