Is it normal to miss your booty call?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize