just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
