i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
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My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
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Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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