For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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