so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
