You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We just shotgunned beers for America
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
