fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
