your room smells of hookers.
And success
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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