Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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