Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
