dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sext me about skeletons
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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