how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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