would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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