dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
