hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
