The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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