if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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