Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
